Everyone you know thinks they know you - and there's a serious possibility that they're influencing who you believe yourself to be more than you do.
We often look to how people respond to us, for confirmation that our behaviour is in alignment with what we're trying to project. This however can be very misleading for us as individuals.
Haven't you ever paid attention to people you know, when they say things like," you've always been like that;" or " you always do that." It doesn't matter if you haven't done what their referring to for more than a year! They still pigeonhole you into this perception they have of you. If you wait for people to let you change, you risk never feeling like your making progress.
We often look to how people respond to us, for confirmation that our behaviour is in alignment with what we're trying to project. This however can be very misleading for us as individuals.
Haven't you ever paid attention to people you know, when they say things like," you've always been like that;" or " you always do that." It doesn't matter if you haven't done what their referring to for more than a year! They still pigeonhole you into this perception they have of you. If you wait for people to let you change, you risk never feeling like your making progress.
This certainly isn't an open ticket to continue being a jerk, that is, if you're a jerk! But then again only you really know if you are. What I'm advocating is that if you're aware of something in your character that you're trying to change, don't necessarily depend on other people to be an accurate measure of whether you're improving.
Change is between you and you, alone. So, sit down with yourself and have a one on one discussion, and decide once and for all what it is in you that you most want to change. Once it's decided, as far as you're concerned, you're moving on.
People won't let you off easy and they'll continue to tag you with their labels, and that's ok, that's simply their perception that's influenced by their need to fit you into predictive behaviour patters. It's a social mechanism that humans use to categorize people so they can create some basic understanding of a chaotic world. It's by no means a totally accurate method and it's influenced by stereotyping, chauvinism, bigotry, and gut reactions. Acknowledge what they tell you, weigh in the value, and determine how useful their comment might be. If you can use it toward self improvement, great! If you feel the observation was more of a label that you no longer want to wear, or feel is unfair; allow yourself to reject it.
Change is between you and you, alone. So, sit down with yourself and have a one on one discussion, and decide once and for all what it is in you that you most want to change. Once it's decided, as far as you're concerned, you're moving on.
People won't let you off easy and they'll continue to tag you with their labels, and that's ok, that's simply their perception that's influenced by their need to fit you into predictive behaviour patters. It's a social mechanism that humans use to categorize people so they can create some basic understanding of a chaotic world. It's by no means a totally accurate method and it's influenced by stereotyping, chauvinism, bigotry, and gut reactions. Acknowledge what they tell you, weigh in the value, and determine how useful their comment might be. If you can use it toward self improvement, great! If you feel the observation was more of a label that you no longer want to wear, or feel is unfair; allow yourself to reject it.
