Recently, both Chase Jarvis and Rachel Hollis have made comments about how when you see them writing or hear them talking about how to work through a particular issue or providing some sort of inspiration, their speaking to themselves as much as to you. The topic they’re going on about is often the very struggle they’re dealing with. That is absolutely true about what I write on this blog.
Most people have big dreams at some point in their life. They want to travel. They want a fancy car. They want to get a Ph.D. (nope, I’m still happy that I left that one behind). I’ve talked some about holding on to those dreams, about establishing habits to make progress on them, etc. A topic I haven’t touched on is something that I struggle with and that has some controversy to it.
Some “experts” will argue that you need to tell everyone about your goals so that you have accountability. Other “experts” say “No, absolutely not. People will try to talk you out of it or tell you why you’ll never be successful.” I think there’s a sweet spot in the middle, but even that takes some courage to hit.
The thing to do is to tell the right people. Included in that group are those folks that Brene Brown talks about as the people on your list who love you “because of your vulnerability and imperfections.” They’re not the only ones, however, there are others who may not be the closest in your life, but you know will support at least some of your dreams / goals. Tell those people about the goals that you think they might identify with. They could end up being very supportive of what you’re trying to do.
For example, as I wrote about in my post on “Climbing Our Hills”, I had told my friend Ryan that I wanted to run that entire 5K. If he didn’t know that it was important to me, he may not have stuck with me that whole time. Of course, it’s Ryan and he’s a nice guy so he may have anyway, but I think the fact that I expressed that goal to him made a difference. Now, there are certainly other friends in my life who may have raised obvious questions like “Have you ever run that far before, as in ever, total?” or given me an out like “It’s okay if you need to walk it.”
This is my second post this week, and I wrote two posts last week. I’ve set a target to write two posts per week because A) I enjoy writing these, B) I have a lot to say, and C) I’m hoping that increased frequency of new content will lead to increased readership. This is a pretty small goal that’s part of some larger ones related to this site. For now, I’m not posting those here, but I’m working on the courage to share them with at least the people on that list. After all, they’re supposed to love me because of my vulnerability and imperfections, right?
You see, I totally get that even telling “the right people” can be intimidating. You’re pretty sure that they love you because of your imperfections, but this one dream you have, that may be the breaking point. Probably not, but if you’re like me, that little voice in the back of your head, the one that sometimes whispers or even yells that you’re never going to achieve what you want, that voice is likely also telling you, “yeah, sorry, but this thing, they are just not going to understand.” If you really want that goal, however, and those fokes have been supportive of you throughout your successes and failures, ignore that freakin’ voice and tell those people. Seriously. I mean it (if you haven’t caught on, this is me trying to convince myself as much as you). Go, now, get them in your corner on whatever your big goal is.