Being a Mom Doesn’t Mean I Can Do It All

Alarm clock, Red Bull, glasses

I usually exercise every morning. I find that I have a better workout and feel better throughout the day if I do it first thing in the morning. If not, I have trouble getting motivated to exercise later in the day so a workout likely won’t happen. There is also evidence that working out at the beginning of the day will put you in a better mood the rest of the day, and make you feel more energetic. So I workout first thing.

On weekdays I plan my day, stretch a bit, go through my morning gratitudes, then workout, meditate, eat breakfast and talk with my wife a bit, take a shower and get dressed, and leave for work.  That’s my typical weekday morning.

Moms in particular are often told, do things first thing in the morning before your children get up. To do this, moms need to get up earlier than everyone else. I’m sorry, but this is bullshit.

We are  told to do this when it comes to exercise and writing, two things that are important to me. I am usually out of bed around 5 AM.  I’m usually in bed and asleep by 9:30ish. If I get a restful sleep that’s about 7.5 hours, which is good. When I don’t get enough sleep my workouts are sluggish and I’m not at my best the rest of the day. 

In the evenings I spend time with my family, sometimes go out with friends, and I go to sleep.

What was not on my lists of morning or evening activities is writing. I’d love to be writing a post a day here, but I’m sorry that’s just not realistic. The fact that I usually write two posts per week is frankly amazing.  Writing, including for this site is important to me.  I enjoy doing it and hopefully what I write here entertains, maybe even inspires you.

But priorities matter. My health including exercising and getting enough sleep come first, and definitely before writing for this site. It has to (remember put your oxygen mask on first), so I have to squeeze in writing a post here and there and I can only do that a couple of times a week right now. 

Moms get a lot of advice about how to fit in more and more to our lives. We’re suppose to exercise, take care of our children (I’m so lucky to be coparenting with someone who is all-in on parenting), work either unpaid or paid jobs, have a hobby, get together with friends and drink wine, have a side hustle,  volunteer in the community, and yet somehow eat healthy and get enough sleep. Screw that. 

Nobody can do that. I certainly can’t fit that all in. My wife doesn’t expect me to. My friends don’t either. Anyone who says they’re doing ALL of that is lying. They either never see their friends or never see their kids. Or the only hobby they have is folding laundry. Or they have to actually pour two shots of espresso into a glass with a can of Redbull to get through it all because they don’t actually sleep.

If, in the previous paragraph I’ve described you, please stop doing that to yourself. And if you’re somebody who’s hiding the truth about how you’re not really doing it all while pointing fingers at other moms and shaming them for not doing it all, piss off. 

Anyway, at no point in the near future will I be writing a post a day. If that’s killing my ability to be a famous blogger, so be it. I don’t care.

Featured Image by diloz is licensed under CC BY 2.0 

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