I think it’s safe to say that all of you reading this are familiar with the conundrum of the chicken and the egg and which came first. I lean toward the idea that some form of a chicken came first, evolving out of something else and eventually procreating by laying eggs, but that’s just my opinion.
There’s also the issue of motivation. We often say that we need to be motivated to do something and if we can just get motivated or wait until we are motivated we’ll get something done. Fairly recent research has shown, however, that motivation comes from getting started and moving forward. It can be hard to feel the motivation to exercise, but once you start it often feels good or at least you feel more motivated to keep going (“Hey, I’m already here, why not?).
I’m going to throw another idea into the mix. Many of us want to feel better about ourselves in some way. It could be some part of our body or how much money we make or whether we’ve had any luck on the dating scene or any number of such things. When we feel bad about ourselves we often do things that aren’t good for us (drink too much, each a lot of junk food, stay up late binging some show).
What if feeling good about yourself, and having healthy (but not obnoxious) self-esteem, works like motivation? If that’s the case, you aren’t going to feel better about yourself until you start treating yourself better. You can accept responsibility for mistakes your make, offer sincere apologies if appropriate, learn from the experience, and move on. Beating yourself up or engaging in unhealthy habits (eating when you’re not hungry, shopping when you don’t need anything and/or don’t have any money, consuming drugs and excessive alcohol) to punish yourself or try to forget just how bad you feel about yourself will not make things better. It will not improve your opinion of yourself.
Show yourself the respect you deserve even if you don’t yet recognize that you deserve it.