It’s really easy to lose faith in yourself during challenging times. For years I struggled to have any really faith in myself, and I recognize when I’m feeling that way again.
Am I a good partner and parent?
Am I good at my job?
Am I a good friend?
I’m a bad cook.
I’m unattractive.
We all do this to ourselves, and when we do we sometimes end up in a vicious cycle of self-deprecating thoughts and bad habits.
In her work on shame, Brené Brown writes about the difference between guilt and shame. Guilt is “I did something bad” while shame is “I am bad”. Given that, how about we try to reframe those questions and comments we have about ourselves?
“I know that I’m never going to be a perfect partner or parent because there’s no such thing. I’m going to make mistakes. I can beat myself up about those mistakes or I can learn from them and try to do better.”
Brendon Burchard describes confidence as a belief in your ability to figure things out. It’s not about being amazing all the time. It’s about putting yourself out there, making mistakes, learning, and moving forward. And figuring things out might include figuring out who you need to ask for help. Remember, asking for help is a sign of strength.
Where are you currently or frequently doubting yourself? Does that serve you? Are you sitting on the couch eating a handful of chocolate chips thinking about how much you suck ( I may or may not have done that at least once)?
How can your reframe that? Don’t know? Ask a friend or family member who you trust to be honest, but kind.
Have faith in yourself. You’ll figure this out.
Featured image courtesy of Marco Verch under a CC-BY license.
